the basics of new motherhood
So many times through the years, I’ve heard moms say, “What did I used to do with my time before I had this baby??!!” Suddenly, even the most simple daily tasks seem monumental. It can be overwhelming, frustrating and downright depressing when something as basic as taking a shower becomes the accomplishment of your day. Gone are the days of spontaneity…things like running out to the store or finding time for exercising become next to impossible. So how do you handle even the most fundamental daily tasks when you have a new baby? Here are some suggestions and helpful hints…
how do I take a shower? * Shower when your partner is home;* Bring a bouncy seat into the bathroom with you and put the baby right outside the shower- they like the sound of the running water, and you can peek out at them and talk to them while you get yourself clean;* Take a bath with your baby- they love to be in the tub with you much better than bathing on their own and both of you get clean at the same time! (beware the poop factor though).
how do I cook dinner?* do the prep work early in the day when baby is happiest- they are often fussy at the dinner hour and it’s much harder to get anything done during their “witching hour”;* Wear your baby while you cook- just be careful to keep them out of reach of the hot stove or boiling water;* Simplify! No need for fancy meals with a new baby in the house; *Try a slow cooker- many meals are super easy and will cook all day without any intervention necessary; if friends and family ask how they can help, tell them a home-cooked meal would be much appreciated! People want to help and new moms are often hesitant to ask. *Get take out- when you have a day with an extra needy baby, this can feel like a real treat- put a candle on the table next to the pizza box and it will feel like a night out!
how do I go grocery shopping?* Of course these days, almost all stores deliver for a small fee which is well worth it to not have to schlepp your baby to the store (and there’s always Amazon);* Some moms want to pick out their own groceries (and a trip to the store can feel like an adventure when you’ve been stuck in the house for days). If that’s the case, wear your baby to keep them away from roving hands (and they will be happy through the whole shopping trip which won’t be the case if they’re in their carseat).* You can also make grocery shopping a family date night and go with your baby and your partner. Stop for an ice cream on the way home and it will feel even more like a fun night out!
how do I find time to eat? * Buy healthy snacks that are grab and go so that when you don’t have time to fix yourself anything, there’s always something you can eat when you’re hungry and have no time to make anything;*Have your partner make you a sandwich to put in the fridge before they leave for work, so you can have lunch without any preparation necessary; *Eat while you nurse your baby! They don’t mind if you drop crumbs on them and you can nourish yourself at the same time you nourish your baby; Remember that you need fuel to make milk for your baby, and if you’re not getting enough calories, this can affect milk production
how do I use a public restroom? * Again, wear your baby…just be careful that any tails/straps on your baby carrier don’t go into the toilet!; *If your baby is in a stroller, use the handicap stall- there’s plenty of room to push it into the stall with you. Once you have a roving toddler, you will realize that using the bathroom with an infant is a piece of cake compared to a 2 year old who wants to touch everything dirty and will open the door while you’re sitting on the toilet! (one of my kids crawled under the divider into the next stall- even better…)
how do I get sleep? Everyone tells new moms to “sleep when the baby sleeps”, but that’s not as easy as it sounds! Especially if every time you put them down, they immediately wake back up again. Refer to my blog, “Babies don’t sleep!” for hints about sleep and safe sleep sharing; *Enlist the help of willing grandparents- grandmas and grandpas would love to come over and snuggle a baby while you nap. They will get you if you’re needed and you can rest without listening with one ear for your baby to call out for you, enabling you to get a much better rest.
how do I get any chores done? Lower your standards. A pristine house is not a priority when you have a new baby. Do the essentials and forget the rest. Laundry doesn’t have to be folded and put away- clean underwear taken out of the dryer and put on is still clean underwear! Encourage your partner to help- make a “honey do” list and put it on the refrigerator if asking for help is hard for you. *If people ask what gift you might need/want for your new baby, tell them a cleaning lady! Having someone come in and do the things you don’t have time for is the best gift ever.
how do I get my hair done? Find a stylist who works out of their home or who can come to you. I had one of my moms’ groups enlist a stylist to come to one of their homes and they had a haircut party! A bunch of moms came and they took turns holding each other’s babies while each mom got her hair done. It was great fun and the stylist made a lot of money that day with all the grateful moms who came en masse for the event. *Bring your baby! They will get lots of attention from the other ladies in the salon while you get your hair done and you will not have to worry about them being unhappy while you’re away from them.
How do I breastfeed in public? Wear the right kind of clothes so that you don’t have to expose yourself. (and you don’t need special nursing apparel- except maybe for dresses; it’s virtually impossible to nurse discreetly in a dress!) A tank top with a t-shirt over it covers everything except where the baby is- pull the t-shirt up and the tank top down so your midriff is covered and nobody will even be able to tell you’re nursing. practice in front of your partner so they can tell you if they see any skin. *Try nursing in comfortable places at first- new moms groups are a great place to practice because you won’t be the only one there doing it! Know that it is a law to be able to breastfeed your baby in public in all 50 states. You will be surprised that if you get any comments at all from people around you, they will be compliments like, “what a good mom you are!” or “what a lucky baby you have!”
All of these seemingly impossible tasks can be daunting at first, but with practice and patience, you will find that you’ll be doing all these things without a second thought! You can do it, of that I am certain..
